Save Me from Answering Systems

I’m sure you’ve tried to call a business and ended up on their automated answering system. You know the type, “Press 1 for English, press 2 for Spanish, press 3 for Icelandic.

Immediately after pressing a number the music starts and my stomach always twists into a knot. I’ve spent years with a phone against my ear while waiting for human assistance. Eventually, my ear starts to hurt and I’ll need to use the bathroom. That’s bad enough, but while waiting I’m forced to hear music that I would never listen to unless trapped in a dungeon, an elevator, or compelled to stay on the phone.

Then I hear a voice. “Your call is important to us; please remain on the line and we’ll be with you shortly.” It’s not a human, merely a disembodied demon sent to torment me in phone purgatory. If my call were important I would be speaking to an actual flesh and blood person.

More instrumental music.

“Please wait on the line and a representative will be with you shortly.”

Endless inane music.

Yes, I’ve been writing this while waiting on hold—but now I’m going to hang up and find a company that actually values my business.

Phones are one of my big frustrations. Let me know what frustrates you in the comment section below.


Kyle Pratt

Kyle Pratt is the award winning and Amazon bestselling author of action-adventure and speculative fiction novels.

Kyle grew up in the mountains of Colorado and earned an Associate in Arts degree from Mesa State College in Grand Junction. When money for college ran low he enlisted in the United States Navy as a Cryptologic Technician. While in the navy he earned a bachelor’s degree in political science. While in the navy Kyle short stories, and continued to work on longer pieces after he retired from the service.

Kyle is the author of author of a growing list of books. Titan Encounter, his debut novel was released in 2012. This was followed by a post-apocalyptic series that includes Through Many Fires, A Time to Endure and Braving the Storms, Nightmare in Slow Motion and The Long Way Home.

Today, Kyle writes full-time from his farm in western Washington State. You can learn more about Kyle on his website, www.kyleonkindle.com

http://www.kylepratt.me
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America’s Anchorman is Gone